“Tigers of the Jungle unite over Defamation by PMLN Government”
For
Immediate Release
Karachi
– August 30, 2014:
All
tigers of the local jungle have united to carry out a revolutionary movement
against the democrazilly elected government of poor Pakistan. What became the
cause of furor were Mr. Hamza Shahbaz Sharif’s words in a recent political
gathering of paid protestors. “Nawaz Sharif has tiger blood in him!” he bellowed.
This was enough to wake the wild animals inside the animals, the tigers.
Other tigers of neighbouring jungles are also
pouring into this gathering aiming for a great cause. Not only are they
demanding an apology but also a DNA test to prove Mr. Sharif’s blood type and
his identity. Meanwhile, Pakistani humans have been complaining about their pets’
sudden rebellious nature and bites for a taste of their blood. Every sunset and
sunrise has been witnessing strange sounds from domestic and zoo animals
together, what sounded like a uniformly pitched roaring chorus was later
translated by Pakistan Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) as “Go Nawaz go! --- Go!
Go! Go! --- Ho! Ho! Ho! --- Yo! Yo! Yo! Go Nawaz go!”
“This derogatory remark is a conspiracy to defame
our race and to spark hatred for us among the wildlife enthusiasts,” explained
the tiger spokesanimal, Sher Shah Zaroori, “First they kill our endangered
cousin, the Siberian White Tiger then they start calling us names. Apparently
their ludicrous election campaign last year was more important than our Taya ki
Aulaad that got consumed by Lahore’s heat. We hope they go through the same
pain and humiliation, which they would eventually as a result of our vicious response!”
The entire wildlife stands united to support the tiger
family and help rebuild the now tarnished image of this species. “We have no
blood relations with humans in any capacity, especially the corrupt human
politicians. If our demands are not met within 48 hours we will unleash the
hunger within! We are animals of our words, therefore, there shall be no new
deadline,” explained Sher Dil, The Wildlife Media Relations Officer, “Mr.
Sharif along with nephew Sharif must be exiled to the jungle for 30 days
without any camping equipment. This is not a picnic and should be taken very
seriously. They are no hybrid versions and provided the allegations of them not
being such turn out to be true, they should step down and replace the
parliament with human beings,” said he while stressing the need for wildlife
reputation building, all tigers have demanded the removal of all wildlife from
the parliament and assemblies.
So far all negotiation attempts have failed and
tiger protestors have already entered the Buffalo Zone.
LOL..crackin good!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sara! So you still think this is all a joke. Here's a piece of advice ... whenever you go to the zoo do not under any circumstances mention the PM's name.
ReplyDelete